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Personality Development


Personality is the sum total of ways in which an individual reacts and interacts with others. Or Personality is generally defined as the deeply ingrained and relatively enduring patterns of thought, feeling and behavior. In fact, when one refers to personality, it generally implies to all what is unique about an individual, the characteristics that makes one stand out in a crowd.

Personalities is the sum total of individual’s Psychological traits, characteristics, motives, habits, attitudes, beliefs and outlooks.

Personality determinants :

Heredity : Heredity refers to those factors that were determined at conception. Physical structure, facial attractiveness, gender, temperament, muscle composition and reflexes, energy level, and biological rhythms are characteristics that are generally considered to be either completely or substantially influenced by who your parents were, that is by their biological, physiological and inherent psychological make up.

Environment : The environmental factors that exert pressures on our personality formation are the culture in which we are raised, our early conditioning, the norms among our family, friends and social groups, and other influences that we experience. The environment to which we are exposed plays a substantial role in shaping our personalities.

Situation : A third factor, the situation, influences the effects of heredity and environment on personality. An individual’s personality although generally stable and consistent, does change in different situations. The varying demand of different situation calls forth different aspects of one’s personality. We should not therefore look upon personality patterns in isolation.


1. Subconscious Programming :

Most of us sometimes get programmed / conditioned by a wrong messages that “ donot do that”, “don’t take the risk”, “you can not do that” you are not good in …and so on…..
You can imagine the bad effect such message can have on any person.

Fig- I : Subconscious Mind Programming           Our Conscious Mind is like a watch man. And the Subconscious Mind is a store of all the previously programmed or conditioned information / knowledge/ believes. Now programming personality means putting positive believes/ information into the store with out the knowledge of the watchman (conscious mind).

Suppose you tell yourself that “you are good at Public Speaking”. And the store has stored based on peoples comments and experience that “you are poor in communication” “you can not speak well in public”, “you don’t have an impressive body language” …..
The watch man sees your sentence and compares it with the knowledge in its store and says “this information is wrong”. The watchman throws the new information away. He does not allow the new positive information into the store. This is the fundamental difficulty in changing personality & behavior of a person.




The dreamers are the saviours of the world. As the visible world is sustained by the invisible, so men, through all their trials and sins and sordid vocations, are nourished by the beautiful visions of their solitary dreamers; it cannot let their ideals fade and die; it lives in them; it knows them as they Realities which it shall one day see and know.

Composer, sculptor, painter, poet, prophet, sage, these are the makers of the after-world, the architects of heaven. The world is beautiful because they have lived; without them, laboring humanity would perish. 

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He who cherished a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Columbus cherished a vision of another world, and he discovered it; Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it; Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace and he entered into it.

Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all, heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.




A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself;  that he can not coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his won will:  and things serve him who serves Truth;  people seek guidance of him who is master of himself.

A man is literally what he thinks.

A man is not rightly conditioned until he is happy, healthy, and prosperous being; and happiness, health, and prosperity are the result of a harmonious adjustment of the inner with outer of the man with his surroundings.

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.

Above all be of single aim; have a legitimate and useful purpose, and devote yourself unreservedly to it.

All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct  result of your thoughts.

As in the rankest soil the most beautiful flowers are grown, so in the dark soil of poverty the choicest flowers of humanity have developed and bloomed.

Circumstances do not make the man, they just reveal him.




The divinity that shapes our ends is in ourselves .... All that a man achieves or fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.
                                              ....James Lane Allen

Let a man strive to purify his thoughts. What a man thinketh, that is he; this is the eternal mystery. Dwelling within his Self with thoughts serene, he will obtain imperishable happiness. Man becomes that of which he thinks.
                                           ...... Upanishads

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
                                       .... William Shakespeare

All that a man does outwardly is but the expression and completion of his inward thought. To work effectively, he must think clearly; to act nobly, he must think nobly.
                                      ..... William E. Channing 

Thoughts Are Living Things 

Thoughts are living things. A thought is as much solid as a piece of stone. We may cease to be, but our thoughts can never die.

Every change in thought is accompanied by vibration of its matter (mental). Thought as force needs a special kind of subtle matter in its working.

The stronger the thoughts, the earlier the fructification. Thought is focussed and given a particular direction and, in the degree that thought is thus focussed and given direction, it is effective in the work it is sent out to accomplish.




The jack-of-all-trades seldom accomplishes much at any trade. Life is so complex, and there are so many ways of dissipating energy unprofitably, that the habit of concentrated effort must be formed and adhered to, by all who would succeed.                                                  

Power is based upon organized effort or energy. Energy cannot be organized without the habit of concentration of all the faculties on one thing at a time. An ordinary magnifying glass may be used to so focus the rays of the sun that they will burn a hole in a board in a few minutes. Those same rays will not even heat the board until they are concentrated on one spot.                                                   

The human mind is something like a magnifying glass, because it is the medium through which all the faculties of the brain may be brought together and made to function, in coordinated formation, just as the rays of the sun may be focused on one spot with the aid of that glass.  

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It is worth considering that all the outstandingly successful people in all walks of life concentrated the major portion of their thoughts and efforts upon some one definite purpose, objective, or chief aim.  

Witness the impressive list of men who created and lead American earlier history, whose success was due to their having acquired and practiced the habit of concentration :  




No one ever accomplished anything, never created anything, never built any plan or developed a definite chief aim without the use of imagination! Everything ever created or built, was first, mentally visional through imagination.

Years before it became a reality, the late John Wanamaker saw in his imagination, in practically all of its details, the gigantic business that for so many years bore his name. Despite the fact that he was then, without the capital to create such a business, he managed to get it and lived to see the business he had dreamed of in his mind become a splendid reality.

In the workshop of the imagination, one may take old, well-known ideas of concepts, or parts of ideas, and combine them with still other old ideas or parts of ideas, and out of this combination create that which seems to be new. This process is the major principle of all invention.

One may have a definite chief aim and a plan for achieving it; may possess self-confidence in abundance; may have a highly developed habit of saving, and both initiative and leadership in abundance. But if the element of imagination is missing, these other qualities will be held useless, because where will be no driving force to shape the use of these qualities. In the workshop of the imagination, all plans are created, and without such plans, no achievement is possible except by mere accident.

Witness the manner in which the imagination can be used as both the beginning and the end of successful plans: Clarence Saunders, who created the well-known chain of Piggly Wiggly supermarkets, conceived the idea on which the stores were based, or rather borrowed it, from the cafeteria restaurant system. While working as a grocer’s helper, Mr. Saunders went into a cafeteria for lunch. Standing in line, waiting for his turn at the food counters, the wheels of his imagination began to turn, and he reasoned, to himself, something like this : “people seem to like to stand in line and help themselves. Moreover, I see that more people can be served this way, with fewer sales person. Why would it not be a good idea to introduce this plan in the grocery business, so people could come in, wander around with a basket, pick up what they wanted, and pay on the way out?” Then and there with that bit of elementary ‘imagining’, Mr. Saunders sowed the seed of n idea which later became the Piggy-Wiggly stores system and made him a multimillionaire in the bargain.

“Ideas” are the most profitable products of the human mind, and they are all created in the imagination. The old five-and-ten cent store system that served the nation so well for so many years was the results of imagination. The system was created by F.W. Woolworth, and it happened in this way : Woolworth was working as a salesman in a retail store. The owner of the store complained that he had a considerable amount of old, un-sellable merchandise on hand that was in the way, and was about to throw some of it into the trash box to be consigned to the furnace, when Woolworth’s imagination began to function.


Personality of Success


A pleasing personality, the personality of success is a personality that does not antagonize. Personality cannot be defined in one word, or with half a dozen words, for it represents the sum total of all one’s characteristics, good and bad. 

Your personality is totally unlike any other personality. It is the sum total of qualities, emotions, characteristics, appearance, etc., that distinguish you from all other people on earth.  

Your clothes form an important part of your personality: the way you wear them, the harmony of colours you select, the quality and many other details, all go to indicate much that is intrinsically a part of your personality. Psychologists claim that they can be accurately analyse any person, in many important respects, by turning that person loose in a clothing store that sells a great variety and where the subject has instructions to select the clothes freely.  

Your facial expression, forms an important part of your personality. Your voice, its pitch, tone, volume, and the language you use form important part of your personality, because they mark you instantly, once you have spoken, as a person of refinement or the opposite.  

The manner in which you shake hands constitutes an important part of your personality. If, when shaking hands, your hands you offer is limp and lifeless as a dead fish, you are displaying a personality that shows no sign of enthusiasm or initiative.  


Winning Habit of Leaders


Guess what Jack Welch, Gordon Brown, Adi Godrej, Mahatma Gandhi have in common ? 

They are all early risers. In fact, if you read about the lives of successful people, you will most likely find a common thread: they all wake up early. It’s a habit that has worked wonderfully for them. If there was one single habit that could make a huge impact on your life, it would have to be this.

Wake up Early ! 

You would probably heard that every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up knowing it must run faster than the fastest lion, or else it will be killed. And every morning, a lion wakes up knowing it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or else it will starve to death. The moral of the story is simple. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you would better be up and running! 

If you are serious about achieving something meaningful in your life, take the first stem. Starting tomorrow, wake up on hour earlier than the usual, it will give you an extra 365 productive hours in a year. That is like getting nine extra week at work. You could read book, work on your fitness, or spend time by yourself or with a loved one. What difference would that make to your career, your health, your life ?  


Lincoln Leadership Lessons

Lincoln Leadership Lessons 

Every Success Story is also a story of great Failures
This was a man who failed in business at the age of 21,
Was defeated in a legislative race at 22,
Failed again in business at 24,
Overcame a death of his sweet heart at 26,
Had a nervous breakdown at 27,
Lost a congressional race at 34,
Lost a senatorial race at 45,
Failed in an effort to become vice president at 47,
Lost a senatorial race at 49,
And was elected as the president of
United States of America at 52,

This was Abraham Lincoln…

Would you call him a failure ?
He could have quit, But to Lincoln –
Defeat was a detour, and not a dead end.

The next time you find disappointment and failure staring you in the face, think of Lincoln. In fact, think like him. His life and his words of wisdom could be excellent allies as you prepare to embark on your journey to greatness.

1.   ‘I am a slow walker, but I never walk backwards.’ We all tend to worry about our inadequacies. We are concerned that we are not good enough. The trick is to focus not on how good you are, but on getting better. It is a good idea to ensure that you are moving towards your goal at all times. You may make slow progress but make sure you re making progress at all times.

2.   ‘I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance will come.’ Someone once said that the luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. If you sometimes feel that Lady Luck is not smiling on you, may be it’s because you are not preparing hard enough. The opportunity is there, but you are not quite ready to grab it. Don’t let that happen. Work hard. Your time will come.

3.   ‘Whatever you are, be a good one.’ Your dream must not merely focus on becoming something – but on being good at whatever you choose to do. Whether you are a salesman or a software programmer, be a good one! Too often, we spend all our waking hours dreaming of being someone else or doing something else. Whatever you do, do it well.

4.   ‘I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.’ Learning is never-ending. Stay focused on learning new skills, new tricks. You probably are busy pouring over word lists and learning the meanings of new words as you prepare for an entrance exam. The exam will come and go, but the habit should stay forever. Remain curious about learning new words and expanding your vocabulary. It’s not about the words- it’s about the habit of learning.  


Want to be Good Leader ?

Want to be Good Leader ?
Just Do It !

Here is a simple question to get you started. There are three monkeys sitting on a tree branch stretching out over a pond. One of the monkeys decides to jump into the pond. How many monkeys are left on the tree ?

Did I hear you say, ‘two’ ?

Wrong. The right answer is three. You see, the monkey only made the  decision to jump into the pond. He did not actually jump! What’s true for those monkeys is probably true for all of us. We take decisions and make resolutions. But for some reason, we don’t follow through with action. And intent without action is really quite useless. Getting started – taking  that first step – is often the  master key to success. As someone once said, you don’t have to be great to get started. But you sure have to get started to become great.  

Great leaders  have a strong bias for action- a let’s-get moving attitude that pushes the entire team to a heightened sense of activity. Do you find yourself struggling to take action on your plans and intentions ? Well here is a five point programme to help you move from intent to action. From good to great.




You have probably heard of the Microsoft interview and the question they ask perspective employees there (how would you move to mount Fuji ?). We all have our own stories to tell about weird questions at job interview. But have you heard about how Thomas Alva Edison interviewed people who wanted to work with him ? That’s an interesting story there!  

After the initial round of questions, if Edison came across a bright candidate, he would take him out to dinner before making up his mind on whether to hire him. The interview would continue over dinner, and when the food arrived, Edison would take a bite and remark, ‘I think this needs more salt!’ And he would watch the candidate. 

If the candidate added salt before tasting the food he would not be hired. However, if the candidate tasted the food first and then decided if salt needed to be added, Edison would hire him. Edison knew that people who easily believed what other people had to say, or made assumptions without first handed knowledge or experience, would not be able to look afresh at problems and find innovative solutions. They would have closed minds, he reckoned. Edison was looking for people with a mind of their own and the conviction to back it. 


Stop Procrastination


The key to happiness, satisfaction, great success and a wonderful feeling of personal power and effectiveness is to develop the habit of doing the important tasks first everyday without procrastination. 

Fortunately, this is learnable skill that you can acquire through repetition. And when you develop the habit of starting your most important task before anything else, your success is assured.  

Brian Tracy revealed twenty one great ways to stop procrastinating and get more things done faster. Review these rules and principles regularly until they become firmly ingrained in your thinking and action, and your future will be guaranteed.  

1.   Set the table : Decide exactly what you want. Clarity is essential. Write out your goals and objectives before you begin.

2.   Plan every day in advance : Think on paper. Every minute you spend on planning can save five or ten minutes in execution.

3.   Apply the 80/20 Rule to everything : Twenty percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your result. Always concentrate your effort on that 20 percent.

4.   Consider the consequences : Your most important task and priorities are those that can have the most serious consequences, positive or negative, on your life or work. Focus on these above all else.


Churchill's Gospel


“It was the nation ….. that had the lion’s heart.
I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.”

“I have nothing to offer but Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat.”

“Courage is the first of the human qualities,
Because it is the qualities which guarantees all others”

“If you have an important point to make,
Don’t try to subtle or clever, use the pile driver,
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time.”

“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings,
The inherent vice of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.”

“The whole history of the world is summed up in the fact that,
When nations are strong, they are not always just and
when they wish to be just, they are no longer strong.”

“If we open a quarrel between the past and the present,
We shall find we have lost the future.”

“The pessimist see difficulty in every opportunity,
The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”

“Personally I am always ready to learn,
Though I don’t always like being taught.”

“It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead,
The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.”

“When I look back on all the worries,
I remembered the story of the old man,
Who said on his deathbed that,
He had a lot of trouble in his life,
Most of which never happened.”

“Never, never, never, never give up.”

“Kites rise highest against the wind,
Not with it…”

“I do not resent criticism,
even if for the sake of emphasis,
it parts for the time with reality.”

“Never, never, never, never give in,
In nothing great or small, large or petty.
Never give in except to conviction, honour and good sense.”

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure
without loosing your enthusiasm.”

“The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.”

Sir Winston Churchill : One in all – A Soldier, Writer, Artist, Orator, Statesman and a leader per-excellence.




Courage is the first of the human qualities because-
It is this quality that guarantees all the others.
                             …… Sir Winston Churchill          

Courage is not having the strength to go on –
It is going on when you don’t have the strength.
                    …. Napoleon Bonaparte.

It takes as much courage to have tried and failed
as it does to have tried and succeeded.  

To dry one’s eyes and laugh at a fall,
And baffled, get up and begin again…
                                    …. Robert Browning

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
                                      …… Sir Winston Churchill

Courage is not the absence of fear,
But rather a judgment  that
something else is more important than fear.
                             … Ambrose Redmoon

Trails and difficulties are bound to come
in your way to test your strength.
You should stand adamant.
Then alone will your efforts be crowned with sanguine success.
There is a hidden power in Ahimsha which protect its practitioner.
The invisible hand of God gives protection,
There is no fear what can pistol and sword do.
                                      ….. Sivananda

Courage is saying what you believe,
undiluted, desiring no approval,
knowing that a deeply thought out ideal
is strong enough to withstand opposition.
And if it is knocked down, then..
Courage knows not to blame..
But to rebuild Stronger.

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities  then to hide them,
More strength to relate to people that to dominate them,
More manhood to abide by thought out principles rather than

blind reflex.Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles

                                                ….. Alex Karras




STEP-1 : Decide exactly what you want. Either decide for yourself or sit down with your boss and discuss your goals and objectives until you are crystal clear about is expected of you and in what order of priority. It is amazing how many people are working away, day after day, on low-value tasks because they have not has this critical discussion with their managers. 

One of the very worst uses of time is to do
something very well that need not be done at all.  

Stephan Covey says, “Before you begin scrambling up the ladder of success, make sure that it is leaning against the right building.” 

STEP-2 : Write it down. Think on paper. When you write down a goal, you crystallize it and gave it tangible form. You create something that you can touch and see. On the other hand, a goal or objective that is not in writing is merely a wish or a fantasy. It has no energy behind it. Unwritten goals lead to confusion, vagueness, misdirection, and numerous mistakes.  

STEP-3 : Set a deadline on your goal; set sub deadlines if necessary. A goal or decision without a deadline has no urgency. It has no real beginning or end. Without a definite deadline accompanied by the assignment or acceptance of specific responsibilities for completion, you will naturally procrastinate and get very little done.  




Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability of a person to command respect by building relationships or by the ability to get along with the people or situation.
A simple but vital question has been haunting us for long : “What ticks success in life ? For quite some time now almost everyone believed in the age-old  paradigm that one’s intelligence(IQ) is solely responsible for his or her success on the job, and for that matter, in life. However there have been instances that we often came across that only intelligence ie academic excellence doesn’t necessarily contribute to success in career or even social life. There are people who have high IQ but have not done well. On the contrary, people with modest IQ have performed well. Then this possess another question : what factors are at ply leading to such differential performance ? Psychologists and behavioural scientists have tried to answer this question. According to their findings, the difference quite often lies in their abilities what they call “Emotional Intelligence(EQ)”. In a sense this is what Schwartz (1997) views : what actually matters is not how much intellect or mind one had, but how it is used what one had.
Emotional Intelligence : Before we explain the meaningof the word EQ, let us define first the terms emotion and intelligence..
Literary or Dictionary Definition :   Emotion is any agitation or disturbance of mind, feeling, passion, any vehement or excited mental state. But emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability of a person to command respect by building relationships or the ability to get along with people or situations.





The reason I talk to myself is that
I am the only (best) one whose answer I accept.

……By George Charlin


“A rose is a rose is a rose”

So also life is all that you are.

You have been told by religions to renounce everything

that can give you a taste of life…

But my effort is just opposite of all religions,

I don’t want to belong to that category of

life-negative people. I am utterly in love with life.


My approach of life is life affirmative.

You dance, you sing, you love, you meditate.

In different ways try to feel your aliveness.

Whatever you are doing do it so intensely and

so totally that your full life starts functioning,

you make your life full lively.



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